jim and i-- i just lost him three years ago-- dr. jim? >> that's right. we were married 51 years. but anyway, before we got married he said you know, mary, i don't really think we should get married until (inaudible) it would make me feel better. >> rose: jim said that? >> and i said "i think you're right." so i met margaret, his new wife, and dad and i was asking him, mother used toñr say never let e sun go down on your anger. and i say never let something like that ruin your life. you've got to make up w your parents. you've got to make up with somebody that you've had problems with. and it was really wonderful. it really brought us together and i had to talk to trustees once and someone came up to me and said this has done something for my family, because there was something like that going on. you musn't ever let something bitter influence the rest of yourÑi life. >> i've always maintained that grandmothers are the best models in the world. if you don't have a good grandmother you're not going to be a good novelist. and they told me about the family origins and the plantatio